I don’t understand why so many of my friends and family have had to endure a miscarriage. This past week another couple whom I knew in college lost their baby at 14 weeks. While it never gets any easier in regards to hearing the news or being available to talk/cry through the devastating experience, I think I have learned a few valuable lessons:

1. No matter how early the parents loose the baby, they are still parents. Of course, I see this as a Biblical truth. God speaks of knowing babies in the womb–he knows them before they are born. So, if God is the ultimate parent (Daddy) and humans are a reflection of that parentage, then they are parents upon conception. Loss of one’s title as Mom or Dad isn’t accurate, and I think there can be comfort in that. What little it may be.

2. Upon death (again, thinking Biblically here), babies immediately have a new body. Well, this would be for everyone, but I think that when parents loose a child at such a young age, it is difficult for them to think of their child with a body. But, scripturally, this is inaccurate. The Bible says that when we are absent from the body (earthly), we are present with the Lord (spiritual). So, babies aren’t just floating around naked or under the ground. Rather, they are with Jesus–actually where are spirits are too, if we believe in Jesus (I can chapter and verse this for you if you are interested, but I don’t have my Bible on me right now). Hopefully, parents can find comfort in knowing that their child has a body that is much perfect than ours and that they are fully experiencing Jesus. There is peace in that somewhere.

3. I will never have the words to fully comfort, and that’s okay. I don’t have to. And, I will never use Scripture as a condemnation for grief. I had this happen to me when Michael died, and it was awful. Jesus is a God of comfort, especially in grief. And that is what I strive to be, too.

4. I don’t understand the why’s, and I don’t want that to be okay, but I think sometimes it has to be.

5. I have a heart for prayer, often in the middle of the night, often without knowing the words. And that’s okay.

Pray for my friends Matt and Amanda and their baby. Pray that love and comfort surrounds them during this time of grief. Pray that I am able to comfort and love even from a distance.