Psalm 45: 1 My heart overflows with a good theme;

I address my verses to the King;

My tongue is the pen of a ready writer.

After watching a beautiful memorial service for a beloved friend and daughter, Kalila Marie Borden, I was blessed to hear this song by Steven Curtis Chapman (written in memory of the loss of his little girl, Maria Sue).  As a writer it sucks to not have the words to express sympathy and sorrow. However, every now and then, I am blessed with a song, prayer, poem, or story that someone else has written that perfectly captures what I wish I could share with family and friends who have experienced loss, especially of children.

The song I wish I could have written: Heaven is the Face

The part in pink in the lyrics below is what I pray for all of you… you know who you are.

Heaven is the face of a little girl
With dark brown eyes
That disappear when she smiles.
Heaven is the place
Where she calls my name
Says, “Daddy please come play with me for awhile.”

Chorus:

God, I know, it’s all of this and so much more,
But God, You know, that this is what I’m aching for.
God, you know, I just can’t see beyond the door.
So right now…

Heaven is the sound of her breathing deep,
Lying on my chest, falling fast asleep while I sing.
And Heaven is the weight of her in my arms,
Being there to keep her safe from harm while she dreams

And God, I know, it’s all of this and so much more,
But God, You know, that this is what I’m longing for
God, you know, I just can’t see beyond the door.

Bridge:

But in my mind’s eye I can see a place
Where Your glory fills every empty space.
All the cancer is gone,
Every mouth is fed,
And there’s no one left in the orphans’ bed.
Every lonely heart finds their one true love,
And there’s no more goodbye,
And no more not enough,
And there’s no more enemy (no more).

Heaven is a sweet, maple syrup kiss
And a thousand other little things I miss with her gone.
Heaven is the place where she takes my hand
And leads me to You,
And we both run into Your arms.

Oh God, I know, it’s so much more than I can dream.
It’s far beyond anything I can conceive.
So God, You know, I’m trusting You until I see
Heaven in the face of my little girl,
Heaven in the face of my little girl.

And it isn’t even class day! Sorry about the sound quality.

3 more to go.

Long time, no blog! Probably… because I have been in Alaska on a cruise ship. Favorite Alaska port? Skagway. With Juneau and Sitka coming in at a close second. Followed, of course, by Ketchikan. Glacier Bay was also gorgeous, although no getting off the ship there! =)

I am feeling a bit behind in my reading because of working all summer, but I tried. Below is a list of books I read during my Alaskan Adventures of 2009, as well as some quotes that really spoke to me as I was reading.  Enjoy!

1. Pretty in Pink (Princess Diaries Series)–I worked with kids, what can I say?

2. Like Water for Chocolate by Laura Esquivel–LOVED it!

3. The Body Artist by Don DeLillo–aMAzing!

4. A Man Without a Country by Kurt V.–Who doesn’t love Mr. V?

5. Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury–Possibly my favorite book all summer.

6. The Shack by Wm. Paul Young–Changed my mind. This was my favorite and not for any literary reasons. Purely because I needed to read it.

7. White Noise by Don DeLillo–Not as good as the first one I read, but still quotable.

8. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J. K. Rowling–I hadn’t finished the series. And here… you will begin to see a pattern.

9. Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

10. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

11. The Brief Wonderous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz–Love his language. Want to read more!

12. Life of Pi by Yann Martel–Wouldn’t suggest this one be read on a cruise ship.

13. Bagombo Snuff Box (Short Stories) by Kurt Vonnegut–Read through this one throughout the summer. Finished it up during my last week.

And some quotes…

“The more pores, the more truthfully recorded details of life per squire inch you can get on a sheet of paper, the more ‘literary’ you are. That’s my definition, anyway. Telling detail. Fresh detail. The good writers touch life often. The mediocre ones run a quick hand over her. The bad ones rape her and leave her for the flies.” Bradbury, p. 111

“The world system is what it is. Institutions, systems, ideologies, and all the vain, futile efforts of humanity that go with them are every where, and interaction with all of it is unavoidable. But I can give you freedom to overcome any system of power in which you find yourself, be it religious, economic, social, or political. You will grow in the freedom to be inside or outside all kinds of systems and to move freely between and among them. Together, you and I can be in and not of it.” The Shack, 183.

“I sometimes think that good readers are poets as singular, and as awesome, as great authors themselves.” Borges.

“What people in Exodus fear most immediately is that those in positions of authority will long since have fled, leaving us in charge of our own lives” (Don DeLillo).

“I am only a visiting lecturer. I theorize, I take walks, I admire the trees and houses. I have my students, my rented room, my TV set. I pick out a word here, an image there. I admire the lawns, the porches. What a wonderful thing a porch is. How did I life without a porch to sit on, up till now? I speculate, I reflect, I take constant notes. I am here to think, to see… I won’t let up.” (Don DeLillo).

“The very best thing you can be in life is a teacher, provided that you are crazy in love with what you teach, and that your classes consist of eighteen students or fewer. Classes of eighteen students or fewer are a family, and feel and act like one.” Thank you, Kurt Vonnegut!

“Never try to understand the students. They hate it. The would much rather be tragically misunderstood.” J.K. Rowling. Ironically, I can remember feeling this way as a student. High school, of course.

“Listen, O daughter, give attention and incline your ear; forget your people and your father’s house; then the King will desire your beauty; because He is your Lord, bow down to Him” Psalms 45:10-11.

“O Lord, You are my God; I will exalt You, I will give thanks to your name; For you have worked wonders, plans formed long ago, with perfect faithfulness.” Isaiah 25:1.

“What is it with Dictators and Writers anyway?” Diaz.

“Long story short. Upon learning of the dissertation, El Jefe first tried to buy the thing and when that failed he dispatched his chief Zuazgul to NYC and within days Galindez got gagged, bagged, and dragged to La Capital, and legend has it when he came out of his choloroform nap, he found himself naked, dangling from his feet over a cauldron of boiling oil, El Jefe standing nearby with a copy of the offending dissertation in hand. (And you thought your committee was rough.)” Diaz =) LOL!

“To choose doubt as a philosophy of life is akin to choosing immobility as a means of transportation.” Martel.

“He was very kind. He served me tea and biscuits in a tea set that tinkled and rattled at every touch; he treated me like a grown up; and he told me a story. Or rather, since Christians are so fond of capital letters, a Story.” Martel.

Whew… haven’t had one of those in a while. Slightly overwhelming. Missing Michael.

… Mike Yaconelli’s Messy Spirituality for more reasons that you could possibly know.

My thoughts, exactly.

So, the reason for the random music posts have to deal with a few conversations I was having. I know my recent posts haven’t really been literary in nature, but a second passion of mine is theology, and you all are just going to have to hang on for the wild and crazy ride that is my life. Don’t feel like you have to read, but know that this is my heart. Paul had heart (II Corinthians) and mind (Romans) moments, so I can, too!

I always thought that I had to tell people about Christ–that’s what the great commission is about, right? But, I realized I am not equipped in that way. Don’t get me wrong, I love my time hanging out with all of my friends–Christian or not–but I realize that my passion, my TRUE passion, is spuring Christians on to love and good works (those that are on the “mission” field). I am not an evangelizer.

I am… God’s kid–Holy and perfected in Him and through Him forever and always. And, can I just say this? I want to hug people today! Tomorrow, I am going to the Holy Thursday chapel at CCU, and I am so stoked. I am excited because I get to see my kids (okay, they aren’t really kids, but I love ‘em like that anyway) worship Christ. I LOVE that! I love watching people enjoy Christ and grow in who they are. It’s awesome!

Happy Holy Week, EVERYONE!